Words to Live By

It is better to be alone, she figures, than to be with someone who can't see who you are. It is better to lead than to follow. It is better to speak up than stay silent. It is better to open doors than to shut them on people.

She will not be simple and sweet. She will not be what people tell her she should be. That Bunny Rabbit is dead.

She watches the boys as they peel off in different directions and disappear around corners and into the buildings of Alabaster.

She doesn't feel like crying anymore.

-The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, E. Lockhart

S (tupid) A (norexic) T (imed) s (sheetsofpaper)

I think I really am growing up.

I join, against all principles, the thousands of students once again in re-taking the SATs this Saturday morning. I'd like to up my math score by about 60 points, as well as my writing score. It's a matter of making sure colleges don't scratch their heads when they see my College Board report.

O, how I hate College Board.
I hate their seductive College QuickFinder,
their costly exams
the hours and dimes they steal from us
the poor overachieving youth
who only need
another hour
of sleep

Ahem. Poetry moment over.

Seriously, this whole college business is beginning to get serious. Thursday I can start scheduling my W&M interview for this summer. I have to narrow down my list of 10 schools to 7-- it costs $75 just to apply to these places. I've already crossed out JMU and once I tour Columbia & NYU, I expect to cross out one or the other.

The grades war continues. My trig teacher is under the impression that I have an A in his class, according to the online grading report. Brilliant! I just got a 50 on his quiz, so that won't last too long. I have tests in math and chemistry tomorrow which should be... interesting.

In one way I'm grateful for blogging. It helps me reflect publicly over this time in my life. It's unique and stressful-- SATs and hormones mixed in-- but it's special. It stands out. It stands out as being happy, too, inspite of all this gross stuff I'm learning about polar coordinates and multiple choice questions.

Whirligig

Today I

had a Latin Club meeting (now a VP) about going to a local elementary school and reading pic books in Latin

made hummus

worked on my College Extra-Curric Activities Resume

read Edmund Spenser in front of a hundred of my peers for National Poetry Day (Sonnet 30, Amoretti)

went outside to take notes in AP Chem

was interviewed for a school peer-mentoring club

wrote a sentence in English and translated to Latin

failed a math quiz

did homework and sleep in study hall

went on a good walk

showed my grandmother how much i've improved in music

went to harp ensemble

am exhausted.

Favorite Song of the Week

Relient K is becoming one of my favorite bands. Sure, I steal the e-CD from my sister, but they're just so cool. Love their lyrics, their music, their sound, their message... sigh. So, amazing song of the week.

Must Have Done Something Right

We should get jerseys cause we make a great team
But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league
And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life

Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust
It's Jealousy, they can see that we've got it going on
And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say

You're ok with the way this is going to be
This is going to be thing we've ever seen
If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I musta done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I musta done something right
I musta done something right

Maybe I'm just lucky cause it's hard to believe
Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me
And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside
It's so very obvious to everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're ok with the way this is going to be
This is going to be thing we've ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I musta done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I musta done something right
I musta done something right

Sunday Homework Overload

It's in the water.

Ever since Spring Break teachers everywhere have been dumping homework like it is chemical waste. The sheer magnitude of this is frightening. I even did some homework (okay, about thirty minutes) yesterday and I still have about five hours left. Therefore, I have read my weekly dose of The New York Times (Sunday Styles and Arts & Leisure; not the Book Review because they're always snooty) and eaten too many chocolate chip bagels and am setting down for Real Work. And blogging.

I also gave in and watched Transformers last night (bored.) It was funny but kind of silly, too; all those bright-colored trucks. Geez.

White Washed Walls Suck

I think my GPA (okay, grades are averaging out to 92.4 this quarter) would vastly improve if they just painted the walls of all the classes colors. RED. YELLOW. GREEN. BLUE. Instead of white.

The white makes it feel like a prison or concentration camp. It makes me cry (literally; I have sensitive eyes.) It makes me want to close my eyes and sleep. It does not make me work harder because I'm so happy because of all the pretty colors.

I NEED COLORS.

Having said that, I just came back from volunteering at a dance for senior citizens at school. I actually didn't dance with any senior citizens-- I'm more scared of them than boys -- but it was really fun. I'm listening to Relient K's "The Best Thing," which is appropriate. Coming to school was the best thing I could have done.

I don't even want to go back to Faulkner, anymore. Just to visit (and I need to do that soon.) I miss my friends terribly, miss being physically with them going through life. But life is really looking up, as long as I have sleep and don't get a defeatist attitude. Who the heck succeeds with a defeatist attitude?

Can you tell this is a stream-of-consciousness blog post?

Exhaustion + Driver's Ed = No Harp

I canceled my harp lesson yesterday out of pure exhaustion. Hit a wall. Shut down. Many words to describe this. Needless to say I have dieted on sushi and lots of American Idol. For lack of original content, here are lyrics to another fabulous song. Um... which one can I pick?

My love she throws me like a rubber ball
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
She wont catch me or break my fall
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Babys got blue skies up ahead
But in this Im a rain cloud
You know she likes a dry kind of love

Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Im losing you
Hey hey hey, Im losing you yeah
Aint love the sweetest thing

I wanted to run but she made me crawl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Eternal fire, she turned me to straw
Oh oh, the sweetest thing
You know I got black eyes

But they burn so brightly for her
Mine is a blind kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Im losing you
Oh oh oh, Im losing you yeah
Aint love the sweetest thing

Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Oh oh, yeah
Blue-eyed boy and this brown-eyed girl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
You can sew it up but you still see the tear
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Babys got blue skies up ahead
And in this Im a rain cloud
You know we got a stormy kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
...

- U2

So Stirfry

OK, that's what I had for dinner (stirfry.)

Today was a Day Devoted Unto Cars. We went to Carmax to look at two used PT Cruisers, one bright blue and one dark (navy) blue. I loved them and the idea of driving a Cruiser is a great one. We shall see, after the parents debate, whether we end up as a Cruised family and I start driving on the road!

Then Dad and I spent forty-five minutes in our school parking lot Practicing Driving. That went better than I've done before, but I still can't wait for a small car (see: Cruiser.)

After my Day of Socialization -- Friday-- I had a Day of Introvertism. I watched To Catch a Thief, The Bourne Ultimatum, Love Comes Softly and then a few more minutes of To Catch a Thief. I love Grace Kelly! I love Cary Grant! I love the clothes! The Hitchcockiness! I need to pick up Rear Window next; Mandy Moore apparently covets Kelly's entire wardrobe in that movie. I walked for about an hour and a half by myself, and in general chilled out.

Now, of course, I've got loads to do. I have harp and piano to practice, a Latin quiz to study for and a crucial AP Chem retest to study for. Ack. There really is so little time... when you love the movies.

Feeling Slightly Hungover

But that is more because I had people overdose than anything alchohol-related. In fact, there was nothing alcohol-related except when I picked up a bottle of my parent's beer (see below) to demonstrate that I was breaking the law. I don't even like the smell of beer.

Yesterday we had a glorious half-day which was more like pretend school than anything. Half-days are really just to make the administrators feel better about letting us out of school. I read 24 girls, 7 days by Alex somebody and it was OK; and then our friends lent me The Gospel According to Larry which was pretty good. After school I went over to Arby's with Vithya and some other girls, and then to Vithya's house for a Leo diCaprio marathon.

I watched The Departed (or rather: not watched, since I closed my eyes at half of it and thus fulfilled suspicions of being a nice Christian girl. The language is terrible, but twenty minutes into it you stop being shocked and become interested in how creatively they use the f-word.) We were partly into William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet when Mom picked me up for a big party at our digs.

Lots of food, lots of people, lots of me ranting against certain policies of certain schools. Didn't get to sleep till about midnight or so, thus the hungover feeling.

Wanton Parents, Angel Child

There is beer in my house.

At least six, if not eight, bottles of beer are sitting on my kitchen counter in a cooler like they are Kool-Aid. Exhibit A of my parents' moral turpitude and their own trust in my anti-teenagerness.

Well, they aren't exactly getting drunk. We're having a big party here tonight in conjunction with Dad's work and some family friends are driving in this morning. I, on the other hand, have a half-day and then possibly the first school-caused social event of my public school career. Read: The Departed and Arby's.

The half-day is because the first quarter is over, and report cards will be coming. I will be receiving the first C on my report card EVER. Like since ever, an 82 in AP Chem because of a 64 I got on an Atomic Structure test. Grrr.

I just spit out my Frosted Wheats. They are gross and old.

The Irresponsible Student

I may have, uh, accidentally gotten sidetracked by the rather large (and charitable) AMERICAN IDOL GIVES BACK show tonight for, uh, a while. But they seriously had more stars there than the Oscars. (And I have a report due tomorrow which uh.... needs work.)



Best act of the night was by far Robin Williams' "Anti-American Idol."



My picks for Idol are Brooke White, Jason Castro, David Cook and David Archuleta. I have no idea who will win past that, though I am SERIOUSLY trying to get my sister to buy Over the Rainbow by Jason Castro... that song was so chill.

Words to Live By

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Chorus:]

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older

...

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change

...
never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

- Smash Mouth
Version by Astro Lounge

I HATE Boys (and the Girls who Like Them)

I just got off the phone with one of my best friends in Faulkner. Last week she had asked this guy called... Bob... to the prom and we were SO proud of her! She's kind of shy but really cool and her school scores like zilch in the Male Dept. She doesn't "like-like" Bob but they hang out and so we, the female friends of Victim, were so thrilled because she'd have a great date and a good time.

THEN.

Apparently Bob was going to his own school prom with another female friend ("The Hag") which is entirely acceptable, seeing as Bob and Victim are not dating. Well, we thought it was acceptable. Apparently The Hag (prom date to Bobschool) was "uncomfortable" with Bob and Victim going to Victim's prom "as friends." So Bob bailed out on Victim, making her a victim.

I HATE BOYS. AND GIRLS.

UGH.

Blogs, Weekend Craziness

Alas, not a philosophical post. Unless you hate philosophical posts. Just items of interest.

I have added two new blogs to my Google Reader, MissCouturable and LyonsLiterary. One is fashion-writing and the other wriitng. Fashion and writing and friends pretty much sum up my Reader.

Driver's Ed looms again. Let us hope I am better with time management and don't stay up till midnight doing homework and getting sick thereafter.

That extra credit test grade I talked about? I kinda-sorta need to write it this week. ACK and there's still a submission I have to send out now. WHERE IS MY TIME?

BOOKS I HAVE READ THIS WEEKEND Bet on Me by Jennifer Crusie, A Time to Kill by John Grisham, The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart.

BOOKS I AM READING Chanel: A life by somebody and Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson. Or Jackson.

BOOKS I MUST READ: Agatha Christie, the biography, along with Christietown by Susan Kandel.

The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks

I have waited for this book and it looks like FINALLY today I will read it. I cannot wait. It's gotten starred reviews from Publisher's Weekly, The School Library Journal, Kirkus Reviews and more. I love E. Lockhart.

Gabrielle Gets Sick

I'm thinking I need to start a series of picture books, Gabrielle Gets Irritable, Gabrielle Feels Yucky in First Period, Gabrielle Goes to the Nurse, Gabrielle Goes Home...

Although I did NOT fake feeling ill (I came home and slept for two and a half hours) it did get me out of an AP Chem test that I'm (still) not prepared for. Eek. But I've enjoyed my first Jennifer Crusie novel (Getting Rid of Bradley) a lot; she's a plot/dialogue/description genius. AKA Amazing Writer.

I haven't done any pondiferous posts in a while, one will be coming up shortly. My only (okay, one of many) complaint (s) at the moment is that I have to take the SAT again and improve my 1390. The math kind of stunk. And I hate that I (my parents) have to pay College Board another forty bucks. Yucky.

I've been looking at colleges, though, and here are a few on my list:

www.smith.edu
www.duke.edu
www.hofstra.edu
www.princeton.edu

Vroom, Vroom: Gabrielle's Activities Take Off

HAH! I knew it wasn't my fault. On the driving range in Driver's Ed today, I did AWESOME in a small car. This all proves that the Yukon is to blame and my intelligence is not.

I'm beginning to organize my activities for next year. I will be running for VP of the Latin Club, applying to a Peer Aid club (mentoring/helping out teens) and to the Debate & Forensics team, hopefully. I'm taking a dance class this summer and hopefully will continue that and maybe a musical, the first in a long time.

AND I'll be driving and although taking four APs, will be a senior applying to college.

Wow.

Life may not sound exciting and it probably isn't. It's always interesting.

Gabrielle Behind the Wheel (Gasp!)

It ain't a pretty sight.

I've started Driver's Ed, possibly the most practical course I will ever take in high school. However, it is making time management the eighth golden virtue and spontaneity the eighth deadly vice. Between the class time and the homework, I'm packed. And exhausted.

Dad took me out driving tonight. Nascar is still not a career option. Every time I brake my passengers risk whiplash, and I am scared of our family Yukon. It is so comfortable when I'm sitting in it, but once I start driving, it is a monster who wants me to die. HELP! However, we're getting another car this month (smaller, safer, happier) so maybe my days of Yukonstress are over.

My days of homeworkstress are not.