I'm tired from an hour-long aerobics class, but I had a great day at school. Great mostly because nothing huge happened. I spent lunch with Vithya talking about books, strong women and a common adoration of Eleanor of Aquitaine.
Stress, however, is never far behind. I've lost my wallet somehow (containing debit card, driver's permit, gymn card...), have to find my friend's headband before her birthday this weekend, have one article due to one editor, a short story (as yet unwritten) due by this weekend to a second, and a major writing contest deadline (that requires between thirty and fifty pages) in two weeks. I have practiced harp already, though, which means I'm started.
I don't have time to do all at once, but I thought I'd do a little series of posts on teachers that have influenced me. Names changed, of course, but they remain the same.
Mr. McDouglass
My history teacher, sophomore year. He knew my dad before he met me, which added layers to the student-teacher relationship. Basically, he made every class fun without any intention of doing so. I remember his class as a time to talk about important stuff (like racism, women's rights) without it being stuffy or annoying. He's black, in a school of mostly whites, which made for good conversation and a better understanding of Black History Month.
I was impressed by his dedication to social activism, his cool-headedness, his never-ending male chauvinism (faked, in order to get some kind of male academic ambition out of the guys in our class) and the fact that he argued with me. He constantly took our small school and asked us all to look beyond our puny walls and see the world, past and present and future. Here's to Mr. McDouglass.
I sip my symbolic sparkling cider.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
The Mystery of Music and Other Things
Most all of you know that I play the harp and piano. I'm at that funny level that comes after playing for more than seven or eight years. I'm good-- I play classical, and can do it well-- but not good like "OMG Little Mozartina!" Music takes up a lot of my time and is a definite stressor. But I could not imagine my life without playing either instrument, and I have a brilliant imagination. It's a weird sort of satisfaction, not like a great feeling when I practice, but... being satisfied in the feel of my fingers as I press down the harmonies of a Bach Fantasia.
One of the evil things about life is how teenagers can't just do things for fun anymore. In sports, in music, in art: you are either brilliant at what you do and are going to get paid for it, or you don't try at all. For example, I like swim team. I am an absolutely horrible and slow swimmer (I have like a 2:10 lap) but I really enjoy the experience and it's a great form of exercise. But I can't really do swim team or swim class any more, because all the other kids my age are amazing swimmers and competitive about it.
With music, I'm so the in-between. To non-musicians, I'm incredibly musical and gifted. To fellow teen musicians, I'm never good enough because I don't practice for two hours a day and don't listen to classical music in my sleep. This is why I like that music is mainly a solo deal: it's you, the instrument, and occasionally your teacher.
But maybe I'm wrong. I've met increasing numbers of teenagers who started playing the piano three or four years ago. They're not very good but they love it playing, and they love talking about it. It's not the biggest part of their lives but it gives them great joy.
As to me. Music gives me great joy.
One of the evil things about life is how teenagers can't just do things for fun anymore. In sports, in music, in art: you are either brilliant at what you do and are going to get paid for it, or you don't try at all. For example, I like swim team. I am an absolutely horrible and slow swimmer (I have like a 2:10 lap) but I really enjoy the experience and it's a great form of exercise. But I can't really do swim team or swim class any more, because all the other kids my age are amazing swimmers and competitive about it.
With music, I'm so the in-between. To non-musicians, I'm incredibly musical and gifted. To fellow teen musicians, I'm never good enough because I don't practice for two hours a day and don't listen to classical music in my sleep. This is why I like that music is mainly a solo deal: it's you, the instrument, and occasionally your teacher.
But maybe I'm wrong. I've met increasing numbers of teenagers who started playing the piano three or four years ago. They're not very good but they love it playing, and they love talking about it. It's not the biggest part of their lives but it gives them great joy.
As to me. Music gives me great joy.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
A Date of One
I just got back from a lovely night. Date. With myself.
I was not stood up.
Kids from AP Chem had talked about seeing a movie this weekend, but it didn't work out because I had a harp thing. But I thought, I would like to go to Barnes & Noble's and just read by myself for a while. You know, I'd like to see a movie, too. So I got dolled up (I looked--look--fabulous, by the way, and with a new haircut) and tonight I had a date by myself. I went to B&N and read the latest Private novel, which sucked in entirety but brought back good memories. Then I went to see Definitely, Maybe which was adorable. I really love going to the theater by myself. It's a very different experience.
Afterwards, I went back to the bookstore to finish the novel and then place my order for Breaking Dawn, the last in Stephenie Meyer's mind-blowing perfect series. The book happens to come out in August, and the clerk clearly thought I was crazy for pre-ordering so soon ("they don't even have a cover yet.") But I wanted to.
E. Lockhart's The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks comes out in mid-March and Melissa Walker releases Violet by Design next week, both of which I'm excited about.
However, my father had his doubts about my "date of one," distrusting his daughter of sixteen years who has only lied to him once (I was about six, and it concerned a bucket, I believe... okay, maybe I've lied to them more than that, can't remember), and half-asked my mother whether I was meeting someone. I was extremely offended when informed by my amused mother. What kind of male chauvinist thinks that a girl will get dressed up and go out and have a good time only because she is going to meet a boy?
And didn't he think I would be more creative about it if I was sneaking around with someone? Like, I would have totally gone for the grunge look AND I would have said I was meeting a girlfriend that my parents didn't know AND... I probably would have lied to them about the movie. Gosh. I do read, you know.
But my feministic fury is spent. I should probably practice piano and do AP chem homework, but instead I'm going to cuddle up with Twilight and spend time with Edward Cullen, the only man I would sneak around and lie to my parents and sell my soul for. Because, you know, he's a totally hot vampire.
I was not stood up.
Kids from AP Chem had talked about seeing a movie this weekend, but it didn't work out because I had a harp thing. But I thought, I would like to go to Barnes & Noble's and just read by myself for a while. You know, I'd like to see a movie, too. So I got dolled up (I looked--look--fabulous, by the way, and with a new haircut) and tonight I had a date by myself. I went to B&N and read the latest Private novel, which sucked in entirety but brought back good memories. Then I went to see Definitely, Maybe which was adorable. I really love going to the theater by myself. It's a very different experience.
Afterwards, I went back to the bookstore to finish the novel and then place my order for Breaking Dawn, the last in Stephenie Meyer's mind-blowing perfect series. The book happens to come out in August, and the clerk clearly thought I was crazy for pre-ordering so soon ("they don't even have a cover yet.") But I wanted to.
E. Lockhart's The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks comes out in mid-March and Melissa Walker releases Violet by Design next week, both of which I'm excited about.
However, my father had his doubts about my "date of one," distrusting his daughter of sixteen years who has only lied to him once (I was about six, and it concerned a bucket, I believe... okay, maybe I've lied to them more than that, can't remember), and half-asked my mother whether I was meeting someone. I was extremely offended when informed by my amused mother. What kind of male chauvinist thinks that a girl will get dressed up and go out and have a good time only because she is going to meet a boy?
And didn't he think I would be more creative about it if I was sneaking around with someone? Like, I would have totally gone for the grunge look AND I would have said I was meeting a girlfriend that my parents didn't know AND... I probably would have lied to them about the movie. Gosh. I do read, you know.
But my feministic fury is spent. I should probably practice piano and do AP chem homework, but instead I'm going to cuddle up with Twilight and spend time with Edward Cullen, the only man I would sneak around and lie to my parents and sell my soul for. Because, you know, he's a totally hot vampire.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The Art of Ruining a Day
1. Stand in line for 1.5 hours for summer school registration. Line is still too long, so you go to the last part of first bell.
2. In the middle of salsa-baking second bell, get a call from Attendance snapping that "You did not attend first bell."
3. Go deal with attendance office to prevent getting suspended, and deliver proof from guidance that I in fact was at school on time.
4. Fail a quiz in English and miss a reading assignment, all because I forgot to read the reading schedule.
5. Get yelled at by AP Chem teacher for going to register for summer school during AP Chem... which is when guidance calls for me. (I got an 80 on her test.)
6. Get a sales call from the DC area (DC???) in the middle of Latin class. Phone is, of course, on all the way and so phone is taken by Latin teacher.
7. Get an 82 on his quiz.
8. Study hall: have to sneeze. No tissues. Spend entire study hall in extreme stress and mortification.
9. Go to principal's office to pick up phone. Assistant principal is out. No phone until tomorrow.
10. Come home and cry.
I got a 91 on my trig test and lunch was fun. So it isn't a complete waste of daylight.
Do you know that scene in Bridget Jones' Diary where she's talking on the phone to her BFF and then Hugh Grant walks over and she pretends to be talking to a professor, but HG realizes it and shows her up and she doesn't say anything but you see
F****************************************************
right across the screen?
Let me say that that was repeated often-- very often--- mentally throughout my entire day so far.
2. In the middle of salsa-baking second bell, get a call from Attendance snapping that "You did not attend first bell."
3. Go deal with attendance office to prevent getting suspended, and deliver proof from guidance that I in fact was at school on time.
4. Fail a quiz in English and miss a reading assignment, all because I forgot to read the reading schedule.
5. Get yelled at by AP Chem teacher for going to register for summer school during AP Chem... which is when guidance calls for me. (I got an 80 on her test.)
6. Get a sales call from the DC area (DC???) in the middle of Latin class. Phone is, of course, on all the way and so phone is taken by Latin teacher.
7. Get an 82 on his quiz.
8. Study hall: have to sneeze. No tissues. Spend entire study hall in extreme stress and mortification.
9. Go to principal's office to pick up phone. Assistant principal is out. No phone until tomorrow.
10. Come home and cry.
I got a 91 on my trig test and lunch was fun. So it isn't a complete waste of daylight.
Do you know that scene in Bridget Jones' Diary where she's talking on the phone to her BFF and then Hugh Grant walks over and she pretends to be talking to a professor, but HG realizes it and shows her up and she doesn't say anything but you see
F****************************************************
right across the screen?
Let me say that that was repeated often-- very often--- mentally throughout my entire day so far.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Feminism and Fevers
So, I've basically been sick since Wednesday but my three-day weekend took a turn for the terribly worse with fevers and chills and sore throats and blotchy noses... I love, love, love my English heritage, but the only thing I complain about is that whenever I cry/have a cold, my nose turns positively red and freezes that way... WHY THIS WEEKEND?? Still, I'm having a hard time swallowing so I may not be at school tomorrow. We shall see.
I have spent the weekend attempting to get up, and when failing, reading and watching TV. Sunday I read Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher and watched The River Runs Through It with my parents (which, I must own, I did not completely understand.) But I got Pipher's book. I had read this 90s-bestseller before but was too young to appreciate it. She basically is lambasting the way young women are portrayed by mass culture and judged by people in general, saying that it poisons their character and stereotypes them to a point of destructive behavior. I really enjoyed her book and the stories she told about her therapy clients. A few things are outdated now in the 2000s, what with internet and a small wave of feminism working its way back in, and I disagree with her on a few issues. In whole, her work has been beyond important for America to see its young women as they are, and not as they "should" be.
Today, I woke up feeling much better... until like 10 AM. Then I started to burn up and feel awful. So I watched multiple episodes of Project Runway and read The Awakening by Kate Chopin this afternoon. This was an incredible book, especially if you realize when it was written. It's the story of a married woman in Louisiana who finds herself lost in a shallow, too-small world. If it were published for the first time today, it might be nodded at and applauded; but it was published in 1899!!!!
So, still sick, now checking prices on European hostels. WHY DID I HAVE TO GET SICK ON MY THREE DAY WEEKEND?
I have spent the weekend attempting to get up, and when failing, reading and watching TV. Sunday I read Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher and watched The River Runs Through It with my parents (which, I must own, I did not completely understand.) But I got Pipher's book. I had read this 90s-bestseller before but was too young to appreciate it. She basically is lambasting the way young women are portrayed by mass culture and judged by people in general, saying that it poisons their character and stereotypes them to a point of destructive behavior. I really enjoyed her book and the stories she told about her therapy clients. A few things are outdated now in the 2000s, what with internet and a small wave of feminism working its way back in, and I disagree with her on a few issues. In whole, her work has been beyond important for America to see its young women as they are, and not as they "should" be.
Today, I woke up feeling much better... until like 10 AM. Then I started to burn up and feel awful. So I watched multiple episodes of Project Runway and read The Awakening by Kate Chopin this afternoon. This was an incredible book, especially if you realize when it was written. It's the story of a married woman in Louisiana who finds herself lost in a shallow, too-small world. If it were published for the first time today, it might be nodded at and applauded; but it was published in 1899!!!!
So, still sick, now checking prices on European hostels. WHY DID I HAVE TO GET SICK ON MY THREE DAY WEEKEND?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Recipe for I-Feel-Awful Mexican Mush
Still feeling pretty bad, inspite of two doses of Zicam, multiple green teas and about nine straight hours of televsion (everything from Lifetime movies to Sister, Sister to Leo DiCaprio's Romeo & Juliet.) For lunch, however, I cooked up some Mexican mush that was actually pretty good. If you want to replicate this gourmet dish, here you go:
1/2 can refried beans
1/2 can corn
1/2 can peeled & diced tomatoes
about 1/4 cup of leftover meat
1/2 tsp chile powder
Mix all in a small frying pan and then sprinkle Mexican cheese on top. Makes 2 servings, great for uneasy stomachs.
1/2 can refried beans
1/2 can corn
1/2 can peeled & diced tomatoes
about 1/4 cup of leftover meat
1/2 tsp chile powder
Mix all in a small frying pan and then sprinkle Mexican cheese on top. Makes 2 servings, great for uneasy stomachs.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Officially Sick
So Maud Lovelace will get its first day free of Gabrielle since last semester. I feel fine within myself but then I try to start moving... it's just a cold gone bad. Uck. So tomorrow I will be reposing in mine chamber (read: really messy room) and catching up on homework and looking forward to a reunion with my dear old big giant school on Valentine's Day.
It will be a gift to have a day to step outside my swirling world of academics and then be able to go back and feel good. I felt pretty crappy at school today.
It will be a gift to have a day to step outside my swirling world of academics and then be able to go back and feel good. I felt pretty crappy at school today.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Briefly Before Feeling Sick
I feel kind of cold-like if you know what I mean, but I do have chores to do and an e-zine to publish and two instruments to practice before caving in to my slumberly desires.
Basically, this weekend I shopped, went to church and watched hours of television. I don't watch that much TV during the week because of school (no-brainer) so I've watched quite a bit. It feels good to vegetate, although--
I need to read something a bit more mind-stretching that hasn't been published in the last 5 years. Any recommendations? I just need books, really, and one in particular that I'm supposed to write an article about NEXT WEEK... eeek.
Well, off to cleaning. You know that's my vocation in life.
Basically, this weekend I shopped, went to church and watched hours of television. I don't watch that much TV during the week because of school (no-brainer) so I've watched quite a bit. It feels good to vegetate, although--
I need to read something a bit more mind-stretching that hasn't been published in the last 5 years. Any recommendations? I just need books, really, and one in particular that I'm supposed to write an article about NEXT WEEK... eeek.
Well, off to cleaning. You know that's my vocation in life.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Pep-Pep-Perray!
Friday we had a pep rally in honor of our upcoming games against the Arch Rival, Carolyn Keene High School. The cheerleaders sucked, the dance team was all right but the step team was hilarious. For those uninitiated, stepping is like rap-dancing; usually an African-American girl thing with movements timed perfectly with a beat, etc. It's quite cool when done well. Anyway, as I was standing with two THOUSAND other kids in the gym and specifically with some very funny AP Chem kids, the step team comes out with their hoodies all pulled in so you can't see their faces. All but one begin to dance. After the first number, a team member goes to the remaining hoodied person and rips off the hoodie to reveal.... a skinny white junior boy!
It was SO FUNNY.
He then began to dance with all these voluptuous black girls and he was GREAT. It was the best part of the pep rally. He was the talk of the pep rally. Kudos to him!
Today I slept in till ten and then went shopping. Didn't get much, because the dresses at H&M were too short (sad face, they were quite cute) but I did manage to get my hands on a pair of Antonio Melani shoes for $20 (adorable tan snake-skin patterned peep heels) and a cute basic white shirt from NY&C.
I really love shopping. It makes me wonder whether I should consider the fashion mag world, just to fund and indulge in clothes and beauty. I don't know whether I'd be any good at it, but it sure would be fun.
It was SO FUNNY.
He then began to dance with all these voluptuous black girls and he was GREAT. It was the best part of the pep rally. He was the talk of the pep rally. Kudos to him!
Today I slept in till ten and then went shopping. Didn't get much, because the dresses at H&M were too short (sad face, they were quite cute) but I did manage to get my hands on a pair of Antonio Melani shoes for $20 (adorable tan snake-skin patterned peep heels) and a cute basic white shirt from NY&C.
I really love shopping. It makes me wonder whether I should consider the fashion mag world, just to fund and indulge in clothes and beauty. I don't know whether I'd be any good at it, but it sure would be fun.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Over My Head... Maybe?
When people ask me how my school days have gone, I say "okay." I mean that in the true sense of the word, as in "there were good times and bad times." Good times like lunch, where the AP Chem girls adopt me and we have fun talking about boys, Jane Austen and SAT prep classes (I know, I really have a life.) Bad times like my locker refusing to open and I feel like my face is all red and gross and I get an 84 on a quiz and am still waiting for the F on the other one. Or like right now, on my sixteenth birthday, where I am about 50% done with my AP Chem homework and still need to figure out how to work a new laptop.
I am not coming to school for the academics, but it's like an incurable disease-- I can't not care. I've tried. It is too embedded into my psyche, due to highly educated genes and an overachiever complex. And it also stresses me out a lot, and I missed my daily walk-- huge destresser-- today. I feel like a salmon with a broken fin and malfunctioning GPS system, trying to sail the wrong way up the stream. I need to remember that nobody expects me to swim perfectly.
Yes, I think I had a nice birth-day. My bday celebrations have been going on for the whole month of January, it feels like, and so today is kind of anteclimatic. All I want to do know is to go to sleep!
More school and b-day related stuff tomorrow. For now: carry on, Mr. Bowditch.
I am not coming to school for the academics, but it's like an incurable disease-- I can't not care. I've tried. It is too embedded into my psyche, due to highly educated genes and an overachiever complex. And it also stresses me out a lot, and I missed my daily walk-- huge destresser-- today. I feel like a salmon with a broken fin and malfunctioning GPS system, trying to sail the wrong way up the stream. I need to remember that nobody expects me to swim perfectly.
Yes, I think I had a nice birth-day. My bday celebrations have been going on for the whole month of January, it feels like, and so today is kind of anteclimatic. All I want to do know is to go to sleep!
More school and b-day related stuff tomorrow. For now: carry on, Mr. Bowditch.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Tips on Coffeehouse Performing
1. "Shorter" is equal to "better." No buts.
2. Be honest about your talent. If you suck... walk away from the mic.
3. Lie desperately about your amount of confidence. If you act like you're all that (AND funny!) people will like you.
4. Dedicate your Broadway song to "all the girls out there" and they will love you for it. It also helps to have a fantastic voice.
5. Be perfectionistic about sound levels and sound equipment.
6. Laugh at the emcee's terrible jokes.
7. If you are a teacher, your song better be 1 minute long or your voice must have won you American Idol.
8. Remember your audience. This goes back to Aristotle's view of rhetoric, but please. Please. Remember your audience.
2. Be honest about your talent. If you suck... walk away from the mic.
3. Lie desperately about your amount of confidence. If you act like you're all that (AND funny!) people will like you.
4. Dedicate your Broadway song to "all the girls out there" and they will love you for it. It also helps to have a fantastic voice.
5. Be perfectionistic about sound levels and sound equipment.
6. Laugh at the emcee's terrible jokes.
7. If you are a teacher, your song better be 1 minute long or your voice must have won you American Idol.
8. Remember your audience. This goes back to Aristotle's view of rhetoric, but please. Please. Remember your audience.
While I Should Be Doing Homework...
I had a great relaxing weekend, and was thrilled by the events of the Super Bowl last night (although sad I didn't watch the House episode; Rev said it was amazing!) School went by quickly today, and was entertaining. Except for the evil study hall boys who were making racket for the foreign substitute teacher. Oh wait-- they always make racket.
I walked home from school today. It was really nice. I'm off now to AP Chem and trig/analysis... and music... so that I can go to this coffeehouse thing at school tonight.
But first, Student Snapshots:
Vithya, the Indian girl in my AP Chem class, who was laughing and telling us about her grandmother who has instructed her to only marry a Bengali.
Amanda, the girl next to me in Foods & Wellness, who has a great sense of fashion and is planning to be a doctor.
Lunch girls: all math & science nerds who are fun and funny, surrounded by parents who pressure them to get higher SAT scores. Alas.
I walked home from school today. It was really nice. I'm off now to AP Chem and trig/analysis... and music... so that I can go to this coffeehouse thing at school tonight.
But first, Student Snapshots:
Vithya, the Indian girl in my AP Chem class, who was laughing and telling us about her grandmother who has instructed her to only marry a Bengali.
Amanda, the girl next to me in Foods & Wellness, who has a great sense of fashion and is planning to be a doctor.
Lunch girls: all math & science nerds who are fun and funny, surrounded by parents who pressure them to get higher SAT scores. Alas.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Shell Shocked
I have just completed my first week of public high school.
To warn you: I am so tired that all I want to do is drink hot chocolate and watch Sister, Sister. Blogging will hopefully happen, but... all I can say is that I had such a freeze-out on my trig/analysis quiz... I left half of it blank. Half of it blank. I just completely shut down. I probably would have burst into tears, except I am attempting to develop a good rep at Maud Lovelace.
Forget the wheel and the iPod. The weekend is looking like one of God's best creations, and this one is officially declared Pamper Shell-Shocked Gabrielle While Making Her Do Her Homework Weekend. See ya later, gang.
To warn you: I am so tired that all I want to do is drink hot chocolate and watch Sister, Sister. Blogging will hopefully happen, but... all I can say is that I had such a freeze-out on my trig/analysis quiz... I left half of it blank. Half of it blank. I just completely shut down. I probably would have burst into tears, except I am attempting to develop a good rep at Maud Lovelace.
Forget the wheel and the iPod. The weekend is looking like one of God's best creations, and this one is officially declared Pamper Shell-Shocked Gabrielle While Making Her Do Her Homework Weekend. See ya later, gang.
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