Monday, February 25, 2008

The Mystery of Music and Other Things

Most all of you know that I play the harp and piano. I'm at that funny level that comes after playing for more than seven or eight years. I'm good-- I play classical, and can do it well-- but not good like "OMG Little Mozartina!" Music takes up a lot of my time and is a definite stressor. But I could not imagine my life without playing either instrument, and I have a brilliant imagination. It's a weird sort of satisfaction, not like a great feeling when I practice, but... being satisfied in the feel of my fingers as I press down the harmonies of a Bach Fantasia.

One of the evil things about life is how teenagers can't just do things for fun anymore. In sports, in music, in art: you are either brilliant at what you do and are going to get paid for it, or you don't try at all. For example, I like swim team. I am an absolutely horrible and slow swimmer (I have like a 2:10 lap) but I really enjoy the experience and it's a great form of exercise. But I can't really do swim team or swim class any more, because all the other kids my age are amazing swimmers and competitive about it.

With music, I'm so the in-between. To non-musicians, I'm incredibly musical and gifted. To fellow teen musicians, I'm never good enough because I don't practice for two hours a day and don't listen to classical music in my sleep. This is why I like that music is mainly a solo deal: it's you, the instrument, and occasionally your teacher.

But maybe I'm wrong. I've met increasing numbers of teenagers who started playing the piano three or four years ago. They're not very good but they love it playing, and they love talking about it. It's not the biggest part of their lives but it gives them great joy.

As to me. Music gives me great joy.

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